Monday, April 13, 2009

Painting pictures of Egypt

What will it be like to be back in MN? I’m not sure. I’m very excited to be home again to spend time with people I miss. Yet, I’m unsettled. Six months has gone so fast. Time flies. Yes, it is a cliché. But I’ve now experienced it. Six months can fly by. So can a year. So can a lifetime.

We only have so much time…and we don’t know how much. I don’t want to waste it. That doesn’t mean I want to be busy all the time. It means I want to be intentional about how I spend the time I have. I think that is one of my concerns about being back home. The noise level. Will I fall back into old patterns of wasting time? What is a waste of time? What isn’t? Did we make the most of the past six months? Are there things left undone?

And then there is the question of what is next? Where do we go from here? I don’t know. And I need to be ok with that. This is when trusting God is put to the test. Will I wait . . . or will I figure it out and make something happen. My heart’s desire is to wait. To trust. To believe that God is at work preparing a place for us. I do believe that.

Yet, it takes a real willingness to stay in this place. There are times when I’ve “painted pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacks” – as Sara Groves says. I’ve thought of our life in suburbia with our nice house and our nice neighbors and our nice lifestyle and wondered…why am I leaving again? Isn’t that the life most people dream of? Do I really want to give that up?

These are the things I ponder…and Sara says it well…